Coldstream Council Noise Bylaw

They've done it again.

And this Coldstream Bylaw No.1570--a bylaw to regulate or prohibit the making or causing of noises or sounds in the Municipality--will likely draw as many chuckles as did Coldstream's Weapons Discharge Bylaw

Many communities have a noise bylaw.

Apart from the fact that Coldstream's is mute on decibel ranges, this bylaw will no doubt stand out because it regulates or prohibits movement.

What?  Movement!  Movement?  Really?  Really?
 Yep.  Here's their definition:

  (iv)  "Noise" includes any loud outcry, clamour, shouting or movement, or any sound that is loud or harsh or undesirable;"

It's subjective, too.
"General Regulations: (B) No person being the owner or occupier or tenant of real property shall allow or permit such real property to be used so that noise or sound which occurs thereon or flows therefrom, disturbs or tends to disturb (italics mine) the quite (sic), peace, rest, enjoyment, comfort, or convenience of any person or persons on the same property or in the neighbourhood or vicinity.  (italics mine).

Movement?  Tends to disturb?  Entirely subjective.

The capacity at Highlands Golf, a commercial recreation facility within Coldstream, is 129 patrons.

Coldstream Council--despite having two lawyers aboard as councillors--obviously doesn't realize that legally-acquired commercial zoning and the patron capacity that results from that zoning does not require patrons to be invisible or whispering while they are at the premises.

"Yet another moronic bylaw from Coldstream's Mayor and Council," whispers Kia.

Speak up, I didn't hear you!